HOW TO SHIFT from Projection to Empathy

December 10, 2018

Posted In: Programs, Sole Girls Topics, Uncategorized

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Understanding girls is a lot easier than you might think.

One of the most common observations I hear from adults is… “girls these days are so different from who I (adult) was when I was their age” and “I’m so glad I’m not growing up nowadays.”  

This actually comes up in 90% of conversations I have with adults about empowering girls.

As adults we do a lot of unintentional projection on to children or those around us. Even the most loving of intentions can project fears, disappointments, prejudices and expectations onto their kids without even knowing it. Projection can also push young people to see themselves in a positive light.

Projection is a lot like what it sounds like – we see our world through a certain lens based on our life experiences. What happens is how we tell stories or relate things is seen through the lens of our experiences.

At Sole Girls our aim is to give girls safe space to be themselves – to be creative, included, active and form their own opinions about who they are – by believing in themselves and their abilities.

Our goal is also to help adults understand girls and question their own projections (think about the lens), the validity of their beliefs and stay connected to their agreement to be supporting girls.

Girls need to grow up believing they have value being exactly who they are. As adults we need to show up as supportive, trustworthy role models and allies who respect their growth.

In my Tedx Talk, I talk about the importance of mental health in personal state management and effective communication. I reference my own mental health and how I have been to some dark places, and how mentorship, support and physical activity have truly saved my life.

To this day, I feel the calling to continue to create an impact based on my research and experiences working with teens through Sole Girls. Unfortunately, there are too many stories where we learn about the experiences of girls who had taken their own lives (fearing the same things as I did), but now it is too late to do anything.

This moves me to keep sharing my story and connect with others in my community to help start conversations and support girls and women when they feel alone, vulnerable and scared.

Eckhart Tolle speaks to this in this quote, “Your unhappiness ultimately arises not from your circumstances of your life but from the conditioning of your mind.” 

Indeed the mind is a tricky place to go when you are fully immersed in a challenging experience and facing overwhelming waves of emotion. Therefore having a mentor or someone to talk to can make all the difference.

Children learn habits before the age of 8, and after there is a small window where we are able to still impact them and create positive change as mentors.

As adults, we get it. We’ve been through the “girl world”, we’ve navigated tweenhood and faced the pressures of fitting in. Now, we have the opportunity to impact our communities and empower girls.

I created the LeadHERship program and online learning course to serve this purpose – to empower women and girls to have these transformational conversations and be able to navigate this transitional times through self-awareness, mindfulness and trust.

Girls need strong, confident and authentic women to look up to. 
Raising confident, happy and strong girls, means sharing our stories. In fact, our experiences are the most authentic, and brave stories we can tell.

I’m so grateful for the woman who have joined me for the LeadHERship program! You know who you are, and this holiday season – our work will be in my heart as I’m giving thanks. 

Yes! We have truly started a movement together just by having this conversation with each other, which then further ignites a powerful momentum in our communities.

More importantly, we have given ourselves permission and purpose to own our stories and serve others by showing up as an available and authentic role model with a positive mindset. 

Wherever you are this Holiday Season, I hope you will prioritise self-care and empowerment by finding time to listen to your heart’s desires and give yourself and loved ones more quality time!

With love and gratitude, 

PS. Did you know that all of our Sole Coaches also complete this program in order to empower girls through physical activity and mentorship?

If you’re interested to learn more about personal development programs in 2019, email us and be the first to know in 2019: